A retirement plan is not just about money. It is also about figuring out how you want to spend all your newfound free time.
By Susan B. Garland, From Kiplinger's Retirement Report, September 2014
Follow @susanbgarland
When it comes to your nest egg, you made all the right decisions, saving enough to turn your retirement dreams into reality. But as the big day approaches, you realize you've forgotten to answer a couple of crucial questions: What exactly are my dreams? How can I make the next 20 or 30 years purposeful?
Some people enter retirement with a full-blown plan. Other new retirees struggle to fill a blank canvas. And as the soul-searching baby boomers march into this stage of life, a cottage industry of retirement and life-transition coaches are helping them explore the nonfinancial, emotional side of retirement.
The key to a meaningful retirement is not just filling your time but crafting a portfolio of pursuits that are based on what's important to you, experts say. "Many times, work is what you do and not so much who you are," says Catherine Frank, executive director of the Osher Lifelong Learning Institute, which is affiliated with the University of North Carolina at Asheville. "Retirement is an opportunity to create a life that reflects more closely who you are."
With so many choices and so much freedom, figuring out what you value most can be tough—even for people like Ronald Manheimer, who helped others plan for retirement for 21 years as Frank's predecessor when the organization was called the Center for Creative Retirement. When Manheimer retired in July 2009, he says he "had this idea that I would do things I had never done before." As he always instructed others, he would allow for a "chrysalis period, when these newly creative endeavors would come to me."
Aside from embarking on a fitness regimen and becoming a hospice volunteer, Manheimer says, little else came to him. "I was sort of at loose ends," he says. "I realized that this was much harder than I ever thought."
Eventually, Manheimer began to employ his skills and knowledge in new ways. A former philosophy professor and an expert on Danish existentialist Søren Kierkegaard, Manheimer returned to working on a book he started years ago focusing on philosophers' autobiographies. He used his book research to develop a course he teaches at the Osher center. And he's using his expertise on aging as a consultant to an Atlanta developer who is building senior housing that will incorporate an education component.
Among the lessons that Manheimer learned: "Keep open time to explore, to perhaps research what you may want to do next," he says. "But you should be able to look forward to a calendar of activities." And, he says, while you can explore new areas, "see how you can renew yourself within what you already know."
Retirees who are enjoying this stage in life offer similar advice to those about to join them. "Try things out. If something is not right for you, you have plenty of time to change," says Tom Lashnits, 66, a former magazine and book editor and writer, who was laid off in a downsizing at age 53.
The first couple of years after he lost his job, Lashnits says, he was "feeling that I was not getting anywhere." Over time, he put together a number of activities that he finds enjoyable and productive.
Lashnits, who lives in Granite Springs, N.Y., joined a competitive table tennis clinic, which was fun but too physically taxing. So he dropped it and spent more time playing golf. He began writing a retirement blog under the name of Tom Sightings called "Sightings Over Sixty" (http://sightingsat60.blogspot.com). That's led to freelance writing gigs and consulting work.
With a "vague notion" that he wanted to volunteer, Lashnits got in touch with VolunteerMatch (www.volunteermatch.org), which found him a position as a writing tutor at the local community college. "I find it enormously rewarding, and it gives me a place to go and people to meet," he says.
Maintaining social connections is an essential ingredient to a successful retirement. If you're feeling isolated, take a step toward meeting new people: volunteer, take an exercise class, or join a hiking group. You also can find a continuing education class at your local community college or at one of 119 college-affiliated Osher lifelong learning centers (www.osherfoundation.org).
The longing for social interaction is a recurrent theme among retirees who write to Sydney Lagier, 50, a retired finance executive who writes a blog called "Retirement: A Full-Time Job" (http://retiredsyd.typepad.com). "It's easy to get lonely in retirement, especially if your friends are not retired too," says Lagier, who lives with her retired husband in Redwood City, Cal.
Lagier makes a point of meeting with former work friends during their lunch breaks. She also has met people through volunteering on the finance committee of an education nonprofit. "It turns out these casual relationships are pretty important," she says. "We have common things we are working for."
Men tend to have a more difficult time than working women making the transition to retirement, according to experts. "Women already have outside friendships and outside activities," says Michelle Maton, a certified financial planner with Aequus Wealth Management Resources, in Chicago. "For men, most of their satisfaction comes from working."
Chuck Fink, 64, says he suffered from depression soon after retiring in 2008 to Asheville. He loved the corporate training company that he owned in Cincinnati, Ohio, but his wife, Cindy, a university professor, wanted to retire to a new community. "Moving was a huge shock," Fink says. "I was a P.I.P.—a previously important person."
Fink recalls attending a lecture at the Osher center, where a speaker mentioned that women tend to handle transitions better than men because they're more likely to have social networks. Something clicked for him.
After several months of research, Fink "cajoled" a group of nine other retired men to join the first Men's Wisdom Works group. That was in October 2009. Today, 11 groups totaling 127 retired men—ages 55 to older than 90—meet for two hours twice a month.
Among discussion topics: the loss of identity, changing relationships with family members, life's regrets, and aging and mortality. The groups also go to ballgames, hike, and meet regularly for meals where they discuss everyday topics such as sports and the news. The support groups help the men "find avenues to establish meaning" in their lives, Fink says.
Fink says these relationships gave him the confidence and sense of well-being to pursue new interests. He took a stand-up comedy class and is participating in a personal storytelling group. "I never would have had the chutzpah" if not for the men's groups, he says.
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